Couples Counseling

Do You Feel Unheard Or Uncared For In Your Relationship?

fighting professional couple

Are you struggling to communicate your needs to your partner in a way that feels honest? Does it seem like you are repeating the same arguments without finding a solution? Do you feel overwhelmed as you try to balance changing expectations and responsibilities at home and work? Professional obligations might be impacting how much time you and your partner can spend together. You may have concerns about financial difficulties or fertility problems, but you aren’t sure how to bring up the issue without worrying your partner. Or, perhaps you feel too embarrassed to share your fears, wants and needs, especially if it seems like your partner won’t understand. You may harbor feelings of guilt or resentment because you don’t feel like you are being heard or valued, but worry that talking about these issues with your partner could damage or end your relationship. You might try to avoid conflict by withdrawing from interactions with your partner, but now you feel even more isolated and unsure about how to heal and grow as a couple. Do you wish you and your partner could learn how to communicate your needs clearly and work together to resolve relationship problems?

Alternately, you may feel satisfied in your relationship, but want to strengthen your connection before you get married or take the next step with your partner. Maybe you have just had or are planning on having a child, but you can’t seem to agree on parenting roles and responsibilities. Perhaps you both work full time, and you aren’t sure about how you will share responsibilities and balance caring for the house or kids while also finding time to spend together. You may want to discuss potential relationship hurdles before they arise so you and your partner can feel closer and learn to engage one another in a healthy, positive way.

Almost Every Couple Experiences Conflict

Life throws curves at every couple, and it can be difficult to navigate unexpected relationship or marriage problems, such as financial difficulties, fertility problems, chronic illness or the loss of a loved one. Every individual brings his or her own style of communication to a relationship, and many couples engage in conflicting patterns of behavior without realizing how individual beliefs, thoughts or actions may be contributing to misunderstandings. You may recognize that you or your partner become defensive or try to win arguments rather than listening for understanding. Or, maybe you try to reduce conflict by avoiding areas of disagreement, which has only created an emotional and even physical distance between you and your partner. 

Even positive changes can create stress. You might feel overwhelmed by new responsibilities as you welcome a new baby into your home or move to a new city for a job opportunity. You may want to talk to your partner about your doubts and emotional needs but fear you will hurt him or her, appear unsupportive or only make things worse.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take as a couple to foster honesty, security and love in your relationship. With couples counseling at Unity Psychological Consulting in New York City, you can learn to recognize disruptive patterns of communication, resolve conflict and feel more connected. Together, you can rekindle what has been lost and learn ways to appreciate one another again.

You Can Heal And Grow With Couples Counseling

happy male couple

When you and your partner are willing to work together, you can foster healing and growth in your relationship. I provide a safe, collaborative space where you can explore relationship concerns, identify why you feel stuck and find a different, more effective way to communicate. Relationship counseling can help you recognize and address communication issues. Rather than focusing on each other’s faults, getting caught up in frustration or placing blame, you can build on your strengths as a couple and create a foundation of honesty, respect and love for your relationship. 

During sessions, you can learn how to communicate your needs in an authentic way and truly gain compassion for your partner and your relationship as a whole. By using an emotionally focused approach, we can concentrate on how you interact as a couple and identify communication patterns that have left you and/or your partner feeling unheard, devalued or disrespected. You can focus on your relationship dynamic and how you interact with one another, working together to foster healthy interactions as a couple. As a result, instead of communicating reactively, you can gain greater insight into why your partner is behaving a certain way and respond effectively to his or her emotional needs, showing that you understand, value and love him or her. Additionally, you and your partner can create a set of rules to more effectively recognize and resolve conflict. For example, you may need five minutes to cool down before you can talk. Therapy can help you communicate that need to your partner and establish boundaries before tensions or emotions are high.

I believe that you are the expert in your relationship, and I will work collaboratively with you to build on your strengths and develop concrete techniques and strategies you and your partner can use to foster a deeper, more authentic connection. In our modern society, it is easy to get so busy that you don’t notice what your partner has done for you or what stress he or she may be under. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to appreciate each day and show empathy, care and respect for all that your partner is going through. 

I have been helping couples in New York City respond to a variety of relationship challenges for more than six years. With a compassionate, nonjudgmental couples therapist, you and your partner can learn to share your feelings, fears, wants and needs openly and honestly and foster a deep, lasting connection.

You may be interested in couples or marriage counseling but still have questions or concerns…

My partner is the one who is struggling. Why do I need to come to sessions?

nyc love art

Communication in every relationship is a two-way street, and you and your partner each have your own way of expressing your wants and needs. Communication issues cause or contribute to a majority of relationship problems because one or both partners feel unheard or uncared for. With relationship counseling, you can come together to each learn new communication skills to foster empathic listening and clear, authentic dialogue in your relationship.

I’m worried you may side with my partner and blame me.

Relationship conflict is often caused by unmet wants or needs, and I work with you to treat your relationship as a whole rather than placing blame. Therapy is a safe space for you to express your hopes and fears for your relationship and work together to reach your relationship goals. I will not “side” with one partner or the other. Rather, we will look at the way you interact as a couple and explore which aspects of your communication style are working and which are getting in the way.

I’m not sure I believe my relationship can change.

I recognize how much courage it takes to seek the help of a couples or marriage counselor when you have serious questions or doubts about your relationship. It isn’t easy to share intimate issues with a therapist, and I respect the relationship difficulties you are facing and your goals as a couple. I use an empirically validated approach called Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) that helps 9 out of every 10 couples achieve significant improvements in their relationship. By taking time to understand how you interact as a couple and what may be contributing to conflict, you can find new, more productive ways of relating to one another.

You Can Strengthen Your Relationship

If you are ready to heal your relationship or build a stronger foundation as a couple, or if you have questions about couples counseling at Unity Psychological Consulting in New York City, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation by clicking the below button.

I look forward to hearing from you!